Should I Just Accept
My Partner’s Mean Reactions?

Ask a Processworker
with Niyati Evers

Welcome to Ask a Processworker

Your questions, answered every month.

Is a partner’s anger something you just learn to accept in a long-term relationship? A viewer writes in about her partner of 12 years. They work well together and have built a life with real sweetness and depth. But about once a week, something she says sets off a big reaction: mean words, sometimes a raised voice. She shuts down and waits alone, unable to talk to anyone or do anything, until her partner is ready to come back. They’ve worked on it for years, and she wonders whether this is simply part of the deal.

Please Note

One of the beautiful things about Processwork is that it invites each practitioner to develop their own awareness and unique metaskills. There is no single way to work with a process, no single way to understand a situation. Every Processworker brings something different to the work

So if something Niyati shares resonates and sparks something for you- great! If you disagree and it helps you sharpen your own perspective- also great!

We hope you enjoy the journey.

Have a question you want answered?

Submit your questions to:

ask-a-processworker@processwork.org

About Niyati Evers

Born in Amsterdam to Holocaust survivors, Niyati Evers is an author, Process Work Institute alumni and Process Work Diplomate who has facilitated transformational work internationally, from Tantric workshops in the Netherlands to race dialogues in post-Apartheid South Africa.

Her article A Radical Reimagining of Never Again, published in NYU’s The Revealer, received the 2026 Wilbur Award from the Religion Communicators Council and the 2026 Excellence in Religion Reporting Award from the Religion News Association. Through her writing and facilitation, she explores how inner transformation becomes a catalyst for personal, relational and social change.

Learn more about Niyati and her Radical Reimagining Compass here.

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